"You escaped from a federal prison?"
"Well, you see," he says, demurring, "it
wasn’t an escape, really, although they are now looking to ‘recover me.’
You see, when they let me go, they thought they were letting go a man named
Ghazel Alhambri, who is, and I’m not kidding you, a very prosperous rug
merchant who lives south of Boston."
"Yeah? So how’d you get out?"
"Well, like most things, it was a confluence of events," said Khidr, looking away. "I and this Ghazel fellow, you see, look somewhat alike. Beards, you know. As fate would have it, a new guard started on our cell-block the same day that a few political strings finally finished being pulled, and Ghazel got approved for release. You see, Ghazel had contributed a healthy amount to the Republican party in 2000, and that meant to right-thinking federal officials that he had passed some sort of loyalty test, and they decided to spring him. Also as fate would have it, Ghazel, who has dangerously low blood pressure, fainted in his cell a half-hour prior to the word of his release, and was taken to the prison infirmary. And also as fate would have it, he was the next cell over. So, a new guard comes up to me with a piece of paper in his hand, and says to me : ‘I’ve got some good news for you, Ghazel!’ And I said ‘And what would that be sir?’ And he tells me I’ve been released, and then lets me out, and I go out and they give me Ghazel’s clothes, and his watch… nice watch… which I put on, and handed me his wallet, and then had me sign some papers which I sign as him, and then they take my picture one more time, and as fate would have it, which they put it in the Ghazel folder without looking at the other Ghazel pictures, and then showed me to the door. Even called me a cab."
"And here you are, hitch-hiking north with no luggage."
"Yes, here I am. Traveling north, with no luggage. I have come to travel lightly." And there was a moment of silence.
"I’m kind of surprised you got caught in the first place," I says, "being as old and wise and such as you are and all."
"Never underestimate God’s sense of humor," he says, seriously. "The King of Kings, and the Comedy Writer of Comedy Writers. "
"Yes?"
"Oh yes," he says, turning towards me knowingly. "Yes yes."
"I mean," he says "I spent most of World War II hiding in a wine cellar in southern Italy. A practical joke by God… A good one, God! Due to the same Middle-Eastern looks, by the way…. Always getting me into trouble. Them thinking of course that I’m Jewish back then, which I almost am. It seems that the world takes me for whatever is out of fashion. But God was providential, even through his joke. After all, there are worse places to hide than a wine-cellar, although it did take me a year to dry-out after the war."
We drove along in silence for a few minutes.
"So it seems like you kind of got caught up in the reaction to 9-11," I says.
Khidr looks at me earnestly and asked. "Do you really think so!?"
And we drove along in silence for a few more minutes.
"So what’s it all about, anyway? This 9-11 business and where things are heading and all... "
"The future is a long topic for a short ride," says Khidr. "Do you mean something in particular?"
"I mean," I says, "First those Saudi fellas highjack those planes and blow up the World Trade Center, and the Pentagon and all… and then we go in and kick ass in Afghanistan and then in Iraq…. I mean where’s it all leading? I mean, we are in the right, aren’t we?"
"We who?" asks Khidr.
"We Americans."
"Ah," says Khidr. "We you."
That gave me a pause.
"So," I say, "Is America in the right in the matter of 9-11 or isn’t it?"
"It’s not particularly helpful," says Khidr, "to put the matter in terms of who is right, and who is wrong. After all, both groups of course think they’re in the right in this matter. The Americans think that they have been victimized, and are only responding to an unwarranted attack. The Islamic Jihadists think that America is the symbol of all that is blasphemous, the attack on which is worthy of their martyrdom. Both groups are operating in accordance with their consciences."
"People can in good conscience kill other people? Blowing up buildings and such?!"
"You are referring now," asks Khidr, "to 9-11, or to the US conquest of Iraq, or both?"
"9-11."
"Well, America has now killed, by most impartial estimates, thirty- thousand Iraqi civilians since the conflict began. Ten time the death toll of 9-11.
"You almost sound like you are on their side," I says.
"Don’t be an idiot. I am too old to be on anyone’s side. I am simply an impartial observer."